Ceratogaulus hatcheri

Ceratogaulus hatcheri (Matthew, 1902) (Horned Gopher)
Mammalia
Theria
Eutheria
Placentalia
Boreoeutheria
Euarchontoglires
Glires
Rodentia
Sciuromorpha?
Mylagaulidae

Late Miocene to Early Pleistocene
North America

Length (Quadrupedal): About 30 cm

The smallest horned mammal known to modern science, she has evolved bony (not just keratinous!) horns as a defensive measure. They are no larger nor more elaborate in her male counterparts.

The horned gopher. An animal so self-explanatory, she makes rocket launcher instructions seem like graduate school level calculus!

Sunday, May 31st, 2015

Opabinia regalis

Opabinia regalis (Walcott, 1912)
Stem-Arthropoda
Dinocaridida?
Radiodonta
Opabiniidae

Middle Cambrian
Burgess Shale
British Columbia, Canada

Length: 7 cm (9.4 cm with proboscis)

Long before plastic and radioactive garbage filled the oceans, Opabinia patrolled the seafloor, snatching up soft prey with her trunk and then shoving them into her backward pointing mouth on the underside of her head.

Thursday, May 28th, 2015

“Ain’t I seen you before? I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes!”
-    Usher

Yi qi

Yi qi (Xu et al., 2015)
Dinosauria
Saurischia
Theropoda
Tetanurae
Coelurosauria
Maniraptora
Pennaraptora
Paraves
Scansoriopterygidae

Middle to Late Jurassic
Hebei, China

Estimated Mass: 380 g

Unlike her sister paravians, Yi qi was too cool for pennaceous feathers, sporting absolutely none (unless they somehow failed to be preserved with her remains). Instead, she evolved a “styliform element,” made of bone or at least calcified cartilage, extending from her wrist to help support her membranous wings as she glided, if not soared, through the forests of Middle and Late Jurassic China. 

Sunday, May 24th, 2015

Spinosaurus aegyptiacus

Spinosaurus aegyptiacus (Stromer, 1915)
Dinosauria
Saurischia
Theropoda
Tetanurae
Megalosauroidea
Spinosauridae
Spinosaurinae

Early to Late Cretaceous
North Africa

Length: 15+ m

The largest carnivore to ever walk on terra firma, she preferred fish to dinosaurian flesh and the water to life as a land lubber. On a sadder note, her holotype specimen was destroyed during the night of April 24th, 1944 by a Royal Air Force bombing run on Munich, a solemn reminder that we humans would perhaps much rather prefer to destroy this planet than learn a darn thing about it.

Tuesday, May 19th, 2015

Deinocheirus mirificus

Deinocheirus mirificus (Osmólska & Roniewicz, 1970)
Dinosauria
Saurischia
Theropoda
Tetanurae
Coelurosauria
Maniraptoriformes
Ornithomimosauria
Deinocheiridae

Late Cretaceous
Mongolia

Length: 11 m

Though Deinocheirus was originally known only from her enormous arms (exceeded in size only by Therizinosaurus), two new skeletal remains (this time more complete) described in 2014 (after being successfully recovered from Mongolian thieves) helped shed some light on this previously enigmatic animal, such as her now-confirmed (at least partial) piscivory, though she remains quite an enigma. Unfortunately, in attaining huge size, she has lost the speed and intelligence of her smaller relatives.

Saturday, May 16th, 2015

Megatherium americanum

I… AM… GROOT!!!!!

Megatherium americanum (Cuvier, 1796)
Mammalia
Theria
Eutheria
Placentalia
Xenarthra
Pilosa
Folivora (Sloths)
Megatheriidae

Late Pliocene to Early Holocene
South America

Length (Quadrupedal): 6 m

As big as an elephant, this ground sloth was one of the largest land mammals of all time, exceeded in only size by Paraceratherium and some proboscideans. Sadly, she still proved no match for the most dangerous mammal of all: humans.

Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

Inspiration for Groot pose here: comicbook.com/blog/2014/07/18/…

Brontosaurus excelsus

Brontosaurus excelsus (Marsh, 1879)
Dinosauria
Saurischia
Sauropodomorpha
Anchisauria
Sauropoda
Neosauropoda
Diplodocoidea
Diplodocidae
Apatosaurinae

Late Jurassic
Morrison Formation
Wyoming and Utah, United States

Length: 22 m

If you needed further evidence that the Linnaean taxonomic system is broken and needs replacement, then Old Bronty here is your Huckleberry. More than a century after her genus was synonymized with Apatosaurus in 1903, a new study in 2015 revalidated Othniel Charles Marsh's original description of Brontosaurus being phylogenetically distinct from Apatosaurus. Brontosaurus lives again!

Link to paper here (I apologize if there's a paywall!):
https://peerj.com/articles/857/

Friday, May 1st, 2015